Full Circle

You know how Oprah's always talking about Full Circle Moments? I really had no clue what she was talking about (seriously!!) having never NOTICED one before?? Last week I finally opened my mind's eye and saw clearly and wow - it was a whomping BIG moment. I've been madly creative lately (my dining room has turned into a maelstrom of art and art supplies) and loving it SO much. The ideas just keep flowing and flowering and manifesting onto all kinds of surfaces.

Since dropping out of art school due to lack of self-confidence years and years ago, I've either ignored my creative urges (well what was the point when I wasn't any good anyway?) or it's been very spurtish. I never called myself an artist and if I did (see sidebar) I always said it with a very tiny small and shy "a".

A N Y W A Y, my full circle moment came last week when I showed someone my work and S H E said:

"Wow - your stuff is really good - you ARE an artist!"

So I thought about that, blushed, pshawed it, then, despite the part of me that doesn't believe in me, I let it sink I N really deep, felt it, CLAIMED it and am finally ready to say "YES I AM an A R T I S T!" (Did you notice the big "A"?)

I have lots and lots and LOTS of learning and playing to do to get better and better at it but I've grown enough now to know that it's not about being as good as someone else, or better than another someone else, it's about being Who I Am and expressing it through A R T.

And here's the thought that came on the heels of that:

Today's Thought:
We are all constantly beautifully evolving works of art creating the gloriously
magnificent Universe on the blank canvas of space.

I think I think too much

It occurs to me today that I have been thinking ABOUT thinking too much!! I mean that in the way that thoughts create things. All day long I'm thinking and then JUDGING my thoughts!! I'm thinking - what am I creating with my thoughts? Like, what if I think - ugh - I don't like that person, then uh-oh OOPS!! was that a "bad" thing to be thinking? Better turn that around and think a NICE thought about them. (But at that particular moment I don't FEEL nice?) Sometimes, being a better person and thinking higher thoughts is freaking exhausting!!

So, is thinking that I shouldn't be thinking so much about thinking bad thinking? Aaargghhh hahaha

Anyway, now I understand ONE of the reasons why meditation is so valuable. ; )

Today's Quote
Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity. ~ Voltaire

The Slippery Slope

Well here it is NOVEMBER and I've let this blog slide again - kind of like my life. Sometimes I think I know what I'm doing here and then somehow I forget and backslide into self-doubt. Then, the inner critic comes roaring back to bite me on my ass. I'm sure I'm not alone?

I think many of us feel this way and it's all part of the human experience we're having. At the bottom of the hill (when we feel like we've failed), it looks daunting to climb back up to the top (that place where we are in complete harmony with ourselves and our world) but the point is to KEEP doing it - to never give up. Every time we make the journey we reap the reward of deeper knowledge of ourselves and gain confidence that we CAN do it again AND even come to enjoy the process. (Plus, I've realized that if I pay attention, I see that I'm never alone - there is always someone to help me up.) Of course, the point is to get to the top and STAY...don't know about you, but I'm not quite there yet and if I were - would I still be human?


So what part of the Hill are you standing on? Are you enjoying the view?

Today's Quote

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. ~ Helen Keller

ME-treat

Ok, I know I promised the next post would be the second part BUT, I found myself working feverishly on re-writing the first part: How Does Your Garden Grow - the long version. Plus, I found myself depleted emotionally (family stuff) sooooo I decided to run away from home for a night. I found this (or was I led to it? ;) ) amazing little inn called The Highwood River Inn in the heart of the country, owned and managed by two awesome women. By some miracle, I was the only guest! They've recently decided to change the focus from B n B to healing retreat so it couldn't have been more perfect.

Here, in a nutshell, was my experience:

Bliss.

Yesterday I ran away from home. Today I am sitting on a bench as the sun just peeks over the top of the mountain and am listening to the rush of the green/blue river below.

Yesterday, I threw a backpack and my yoga mat in the car and took off, going wherever the road led me. Today, I heard an eagle's piercing cry and it made me gasp as I made my way to the bench in this beautiful, sacred place.

Yesterday, I felt like I just couldn't take one more thing! Today, I saw the eagle soar over the water with it's great wings spanned wide. Today, I feel like that, my wings once again stretched open and free of the pull of the earth.

Tomorrow, after I've returned to my family, my spirit nourished, my mind refreshed, and my body restored, I'll remember yesterday and hold it's memory in my heart.

Today's Quote:
Often, we care for others and forget about ourselves. Remember, if WE are not filled and satisfied, we cannot help others. ~ me (if I write is it a quote?? lol)