Monday, April 6, 2009
In the Doldrums
Sailors know that the "doldrums" means that place and time where there is no wind and no current...just hanging out on the flat motionless water unable to move. Sometimes, no matter how brightly the sun is shining or how grateful I am for my life, I can feel flat and empty, invisible and silent. It could be because something happened or for no reason at all. It doesn't really matter how I got there - the point is, there I am.
So as at ALL times, I know I have choices (sometimes knowing you have choices can be really annoying don't you think?? haha). I could go for a walk, write a list of things to be grateful for, phone a friend, go shopping. Or, I could just BE with the feeling - check in with my body - what AM I feeling exactly? Sad? Tense? Angry? What?? This sounds weird but when I'm feeling like this I ask myself: where in my body am I feeling most or least? I close my eyes and do a scan - like I'm my own MRI. I breathe and listen to what words or pictures are popping up. If I feel like it, I get out my journal and pens, and paint and papers, and make a big messy mess putting what's INSIDE of me on the outside. I am ALWAYS surprised by what I hear myself saying.
Once I've heard myself, I find I get the wind back in my sails so I can move forward.
Following your feelings will lead you to their source. Only through emotions can you encounter the force field of your own soul. ~ Gary Zukav